Tag: madness

If you don’t know where you’re going, any path will take you there

The Mad Tinker – Madness in Motion

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Thank you Einstein.

The definition of madness is having a good time when any respectable person would not be. Or that’s how I experience it.

The world has become entirely too serious.

Joy killing serious.

Dream stomping serious.

Victimizingly serious.

Despairingly serious.

We keep forgetting that the Buddha is laughing. That life is innocent and beautiful, bursting with sacred silliness and good-natured irony.  There is so much more potential for the human collective experience. The way we practice life is similar to taking a ball of clay and making nothing but squares, even though the clay could become absolutely anything.

We don’t value the infinite possibility of clay. Just like we don’t value the infinite possibilities of the collective human experience and social structure.

We have the power of creation. Anything we can imagine we can create. AND IT IS IN THIS WAY THAT WE WERE CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF OUR MAKER.

And we just don’t get it. Over and over we choose to create a life of self-slavery. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why we wake up every morning and CHOOSE to keep participating in a world that kills our spirit. There are literally an uncountable number of different decisions we could make every moment. But yet we choose to continue to make the same lame decisions. Continue to accept the unimaginative, subjugating collective narrative.

WAKE UP! You can be anything, you can do anything, you have control of your reality! WAKE UP! Make daring, life expanding decisions. Look death and disease and corruption and discrimination and totalitarianism in the face and laugh. THEY HAVE NO POWER OVER YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

Do you remember the moment in Labyrinth? The Goblin King in his matter warping kingdom (thank you David Bowie!) seemingly has one the day and there is no way out. He says, “I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave.” And in that moment Sarah realizes the true nature of reality and says, “You have no power over me.” And with that one statement, with that one realization, that one recognition of her sovereign God-given Soul, the Goblin Kings entire kingdom dissolves utterly for her. For she has seen the truth. No one can rule you without your permission. Without your acquiescence, WITHOUT YOUR FEAR.

The media is the fear factory manufacturing your consent, showings all the darkness over and over and over again. It is an old game invented by lost dictators. That we still play it is utterly absurd. STOP WATCHING, STOP BELIEVING. TUNE OUT THE GOBLIN KING, SEE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN, TURN OFF YOUR TV, DON’T READ THE HEADLINES. STOP PARTICIPATING AND RENDER THEM POWERLESS. ONLY THEN CAN HUMANITY CREATE A NEW STORY AND REALITY.

Do your part. STOP participating in fear culture. Follow your own instincts and gut feelings and dreams and hopes. There is nothing but mirages in your way. The path is clear, and only painted with a scary optical illusion to keep you from daring to follow your own path. It doesn’t matter where you go, it matters who you are along the way.

GOD WANTED SO MUCH MORE FOR US THAN THIS. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE OUR FATHER PROUD? WHY CAN’T WE BELIEVE IN OURSELVES THE WAY HE BELIEVES IN US?

BECOME MORE. BECOME FREE. BECOME DIVINE.

I pray for all of us to be able to create a new way together, to imagine and embrace and pursue a new reality for humanity.

It is only when you’ve seen the deepest, most despairing darkness that you can begin to imagine the light.

Imagine a new world with me.

Running up the Furniture

The power of belief is the strongest power we have. It has carried humanity through all the dark times.

But it in order to believe, first you have to be able to imagine that it can be true. That you are worth it to be true. Therefor, imagination is just as powerful as belief.

There is an old cat’s story. A story that the older cats tell to the kittens in the alleys: Once upon a time cats were larger than humans. Cats were the rulers of the land. The humans were smart pets and servants; scurry around fulfilling small tasks; laying on their master’s laps to please them. As cats were nocturnal, the humans were made to be too.

The humans, just as cats now, were free to do as they pleased for the most part. They played together, ate together, slept in communal dwellings and had their own songs and stories.

One day a strong and smart human said. This story doesn’t have to continue this way. We have the power of imagination too. I watch my master wake from a dream, furiously record images and words and then a few weeks later the images from his dreams are real life statues. Real life structures and gardens. If we can all dream that we are the larger species and they are OUR pets it will be so. But we must all believe it can be so. At first many did not listen. They were content with their lives. They didn’t want change, afraid of the unknown. And it wasn’t until wrinkles began forming on his face before the younger humans wanted to hear more. He was delighted, and improved upon his theories and explained how to dream. And one day, not so many moons later, the humans awoke and found cats curled by their feet.  

Every day I struggle to take my own advice:

re-create reality      re-write your perspectives

dream the dreams to flip the story

If the story doesn’t keep progressing it doesn’t change.

And you become stuck.

Today I am stuck.

I try to talk about it. But it just makes me worse.

My story overwhelms me. Memories rear their heads like cobras, strike, and retreat, only for another to take it’s place.

The things I held onto so strongly yesterday are fuzzy and ephemeral.

I feel lost.

My confidence in knowing who I am, what I’m doing, what my goals are, all melt like ice cubes. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong. I don’t know if my words are worth recording. I don’t know which way is up, or which way is down. I don’t know if I can trust my own version of my story. I have no way to know, in the perspective of the universe, if I have don’t the right thing. Likely there’s no answer. The universe doesn’t care. It is more a mirror trying to know itself anyway.

But again, this is all just my perspective today. Just one version of reality. I’m most likely going to have a completely different one tomorrow anyway. So what does it matter? What does the pain matter? The only reason it doesn’t go away is because you are attached to it and you don’t let it go away.

As I save the file and type the date I realize that it is the five month anniversary of meeting the love of my life. And I have been so fucked up today that I have barely interacted with him. This makes me feel even worse. It’s 3:20 in the afternoon. I haven’t eaten anything yet today. I don’t feel like it. And I know this makes my condition even worse. There are so many details that I tend to ignore all of them, because I feel overwhelmed and out of my mind much of the time. I’m supposed to be healing. It’s been two months since I walked out of my life. Healing is supposed to be my focus. But I don’t think I’ve made very much progress in that direction. There has been so much problem solving to do, so many hard decisions, so many painful unforeseen consequences. And the weight of them all pile up and make it hard for me to breathe or to focus.

Less than baby steps.

More like trying to run up the furniture that is falling down the rabbit hole.

My inner voice sounds like Sam Kenison.